all internal chatter, patches for a virtual quilt
if i’m not loud or brash enough or i don’t mix around much or go out much although i can feel myself slowly change and yes i have started becoming more sociable and yes i have started opening up and talking more and hell i’ve even started cussing now when things get too much (although always accidentally and i always catch myself and feel bad afterwards even though i don’t say it) but that doesn’t mean when you leave me out of conversations or share inside jokes and not explain or talk in code around me even though it’s not about me or talk as though i’m not there doesn’t affect me and maybe hurt because it does and when you don’t ask after me it’s ok i’m used to looking out for myself but silly me i thought things had changed and maybe that’s why it bothers me, because i have loved ones thousands of miles away who care more than those right here.
I want you to know that I feel this way all the time here, too. And I care L. I do.
I miss you.
This was written without thinking, and on second thoughts maybe I’m asking too much of them, and maybe I’m not being fair, because they do care, just not as much as I wish sometimes.
”..because i have loved ones thousands of miles away who care more than those right here.”
Who did you think I meant? :)
And if you feel this so over there, know that I care. Ok so you have Amahl so that doesn’t really make a big difference but hey you need someone for girl talk and I don’t think he can handle that, so that’s where I come in.
I miss you.
